O.K. I have written several long posts about narcissistic people/relationships. This is a short one. I realize that since the narcissist, antisocial personality disordered person or the psychopath is multifaceted, one post will not give much insight into them. So…there will be multiple posts to educate and explain and expose!
One of the very frustrating things about these types of people is that they want so badly to project to the world everything they wish they were but know are not. However, they will not try to actually develop the qualities they covet–like loyalty, honesty, empathy, loving, caring–they would seemingly rather spend their time creating false situations where they display these qualities.
They seem to be trapped between admiring or coveting these qualities and hating and being repulsed by them. They would rather spend time and energy tricking people into believing they possess these qualities as opposed to actually working on developing these qualities. It seems like they enjoy the game of tricking people even while their own pathology tugs away at them inside to want to have, possess, or “own” these qualities.
They hate those possessing the qualities they covet but they are drawn to them nonetheless. For the individual with the coveted qualities–this is a death sentence. Once the personality disordered individual gets their hooks into you–they will make you pay for having the very qualities that attracted them to you in the first place. They will try to crush those qualities out of you while claiming them for themselves. It makes no sense and that is why most, if not all, victims of a personality disordered individual suffers from confusion, stress, and anxiety.
Our minds want to make sense of a senseless circumstance. We try to understand something that is pathological and not understandable but our minds keep trying and trying–often times this is an involuntary response. We begin to lose control of our thinking as our mind hunts and hunts for a reason, an answer, or a cause.
Once you catch on to what is happening to you–you try to escape. That is a topic for another day. But when you try to escape or you do escape–you will find that the personality disordered individual has co-opted your personality. They have become you–or a very twisted and transparent version of you. Although this will feel like soul-rape, it is actually the closest thing you will get to a complement from the disordered person. They hate you, they are repulsed by you, they covet you, and they are jealous of you–all at once!
With pathology, there is no reason, answer, or cause that the victim can find to warrant such horrific treatment by someone who claimed that they loved you. The victims are left to ponder a whole new paradigm of thinking, living, and being. Once you have been touched by this particular evil–you are never the same again.